At least it stayed hard...I think

Nine out of ten times when I log on to this cruising website (the same one I found Sammy on) I appear as offline but I decided to go online today. I came back a couple of hours later and saw this guy's message.

We have hooked up before. The last time was...I can't remember if it's been more than five months but it was in the winter. Let's call him Martin (I don't know what his actual name is or I've forgotten). He is about my age or a few years older; same height as me but chunkier - this came from experience, not the inaccurate details on his profile. The facial hair makes him look a bit latino. He is average looking with an average cock but is a nice guy. He seems to like me a lot and whenever he sees me online he'd ask when we are hooking up again. This is part of the reason I choose to appear offline.

I agreed to meet because I felt bad about having ignored him for so long, and I am useless at rejecting people outright. It was past 11pm. We agreed to meet in a dark quiet area. On the way, driving with my pants and joggers halfway down, I tugged and stroked but it wouldn't get fully hard. Shit, am I going to have to apologise and go home? I pulled up in a quiet residential lane with nice houses on one side and a park surrounded by trees on the other. He was waiting, in jeans and zipped up hoodie with the hood up, by the gate to the car park which was closed by now. We moved past the gate to the small playground behind the car park as it was more shielded from the street lights.

As soon as we started playing with each other's cock, I got stiff which was a relief. I guess I just needed someone else's hand on it. And some mutual sucking followed. I turned him around and started teasing his ass with my stick. His hands reached back to feel my peach and pressed my crotch against his rear.

There was a wooden platform with a slope on one side - no idea what kind of game or exercise it was built for. But the platform was the perfect height. I told him to bend over on it and gave his hole a little licking. He moaned quietly when I came back up to grind on his crack. I put the rubber on and lubed up the tunnel with one finger, two fingers, three fingers. Easy. I wish mine was that flexible. Cock in, I started to get going with a rhythm and he was loving it from the sound he was making. He reached behind me with his left hand and played with my hole which was tight as a knot. I was pumping harder when he asked if I was ready to cum. To my surprise, I wasn't.

I told him to flip over and pulled his jeans down further to give me better access. His feet were up in the air and I wasted no time to go inside. He was moaning a bit more and a bit louder than whispering volume. He pulled his hoodie and t-shirt up like he was getting ready to shoot. No he wasn't "toned" as described on his profile but I kinda knew that already. I kept thrusting and I felt his muscles tightening around my shaft a few times but the squeeze was not sustained. He whispered that he was going to cum and was now moaning in normal talking volume with every deep thrust. He came. I wasn't even close.

I pulled out and peeled off. We adjusted our clothes and he pointed out where the bin was. Did that just happen? Did he think that I came? I think he gave me a hug I'm not too sure. When I was making my way back (he was about ten feet behind) I walked past a motorbike by the gate. There was a helmet next to the bike and I could feel that the bike was still hot. Is this his bike? I sat in my car around the corner for a minute, waiting to see. And the motorbike buzzed past.

Just as I thought I was done with this guy, he suddenly seemed more interesting. I bought my first bike a week ago. And I've just fucked another biker.

The world famous gay club on a shit regular Saturday night

Saturday night, London, Heaven, apparently THE gay club to go to. I had only heard of this place before. My mate who is bi and just split up with his four-year girlfriend wanted to go and we went with a few of his friends too.

It was fun for the first 2-3 hours. We drank and we danced and all. But when the alcohol started to wear off and my blood sugar dropped I couldn't ignore the staring eyes anymore - the men standing on the side with drink in hand, scanning for the next pair of eyes that stared back. The DJ was no good either, using the monotonous, half-hearted drum and bass tracks to mix with pop songs. No wonder people had to take drugs in this place to get high. The place just didn't live up to its reputation. Maybe we picked a shit night to go.

"Did your top come off?" Rob texted.

There were a lot of gay boys (and men) breaking it down with their tops off, some in better shapes than the others. But I wasn't one of them. Firstly because I am quite self conscious even after a few drinks. Secondly the more skin you show the more desperate you look. And thirdly I couldn't do it when my mate, who I've known for ten years, was there.

No I didn't cop off with a random. A year ago I would have made that the main objective and done the scanning thing on the dance floor. I think I find people more attractive when they don't look so...full of lust. One of the friends of my friend was a little Italien lady who didn't speak much English and wasn't into the music so she was standing on the side a lot. But every now and then some guy would come up to talk to her because she looked a bit lost. Those were the ones I wanted to pull to the side and suck on their faces.

The truth is there but nobody sees it

Despite of all the wicked things that I do and all the sex that I have, I go to church and I have some sort of faith in God. My belief is built upon and transformed by experiences over the years, for better or for worse.

I have lived in different places and so have gone to very different churches. The one that I have been going to for about a year is a small congregation lead by a church elder, who is very traditional and narrow-minded. Every time he gives a sermon I have to hold on to my seat so I don't launch out and hurt him.

"The Bible says don't be conformed to this world. People want to legalise homosexuality. Is that right? Do we support them?"

The OAPs in the congregation shook their heads, as they have been spoon-fed the idea that gay equals wrong.

Erm, sorry, but are you referring to legalising gay marriage or anal penetration? Just an example of his lack of clarity that I find frustrating. He never goes on to explain why it's such a damning sin to be gay - it just is. Frankly I don't think he has the knowledge to answer questions in this area. The man needs to study the Bible a bit more closely and perhaps take a theology course to open up his mind first.

I am friends with the elder's son. Not close friends but we get along and to be honest there are only about a dozen people my age. We're hanging out the other day and a girl mentions the upcoming gay pride. She loves watching the parade with her husband but she's never sure whether it is "right" to enjoy as a spectator. So she asks for the elder's son's opinion. The funny thing is, he doesn't really care. His manager at work is gay. He's been to a gay wedding ceremony (his manager's) not that he likes to bring it up. He's neither for or against, as long as he has his video games and shit. What a funny world we live in.

Repeat offender

I might have gone down on smokey Sammy again. This time he was allowed to sit on my bed. I tried to film it - not sure why because it's not like I can get off on a video with myself in it. And I hardly ever watch porn anymore. It was too dark anyway.