Monday, 31 March 2014

The most macho men on earth

Gentlemen and gentlemen, I present to you the All Blacks Sevens team (who practically fucked us raw in the finals of the Hong Kong Sevens tournament)...before they took their shirts off for the haka in torrential tropical rain.

I think they like potatoes.

I'm going to stand in the shower and imagine myself in a kiwi scrum after the haka.


New Zealand’s All Blacks Sevens impress on and off the field with shirts-off Haka


Sunday, 23 March 2014

Flight Lieutenant Dreamboat


Royal Australian Air Force Flight Lieutenant Russell Adams became an instant internet celebrity after his image was broadcast around the world late last week during the search for Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.

Adams led the team aboard the RAAF P3 Orion that set out across the southern Indian Ocean to find the debris that could possibly belong to the missing plane.

But instead of finding the debris, he found himself a whole new legion of fans.
Here are some of the things that have been said about Flight Lieutenant Russell Adams online in the past few days:

“Can we just take a moment to appreciate Captain Russell Adams from the Australian MH370 search team.”
“I wonder when LEGO will release an exclusive minifig of Flight Lieutenant Russell Adams, AP-3C Orion SAR superstar”
Gosh that Australian Air Force guy Russell Adams on the news is a hottay mallottay!!”
“Captain Russell Adams from the Australian MH370 search team serving up Top Gun realness”
“In another country, he’d be a model. In Australia, he’s just Russell Adams ... pilot.”
“I’d like to debrief Russell Adams.”
“Not to detract from the search effort, but Flight Lieutenant Russell Adams is a hottie.”

“If that Russell Adams from the Australian Airforce came to save my life I’d be one very happy bunny.”

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Could have been my Facebook status

Jist of the story is, I went to fuck a lad (31) from Grindr. I wouldn't let him kiss my ears because it's too intimate. He took offence and I bolted. He slammed the door behind me. What the fuck is the deal with these gay boys.

Maybe I could have explained it in a more diplomatic way but he should have stopped trying to kiss my ears when I told him to stop for the third fucking time.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

It's always someone's other half

Hello mr. Did u get home safe on Saturday? On Sunday we went to Sheffield park. Lovely place

Just received this text from Mateo. The "we" refers to him and his partner.

It's Saturday night. I am at a gay club with a friend. I have never been here before. A few more guys I know are coming too. Mateo and his partner James are here with their friends. I've known Mateo for nearly two years. He's an artist and he always makes me laugh with his Spanish ways. He is friendly and welcoming to everyone - he even invites his Grindr fucks to his birthday parties. All acceptable because he has a big, warm Spanish heart. I see Mateo every week but we are just friends. He is an attractive man (around 40, my height, groomed and VERY fit) but I never had any fantasies about him because he is with James who is also a nice, sweet man.

Anyway, my friend and I head down from the bar to the dance floor. Mateo is already a bit drunk and sweating under his black shirt. James has gone home. I start getting warm and I am sweating too. The floor is all sticky from spilt drinks. Mateo is a dance machine. He dances with guys he knows and guys he doesn't know, swaying and thrusting. Then he comes to me, going down and up with the music, which makes me laugh. And he keeps coming around but I like it because he's a joker and a good dancer. Under the flashing lights and deafening music, he takes his shirt off and ties it around his waist. I cheer him on but he grabs the bottom of my T-shirt and takes it off too. I am dancing shirtless. I have never felt so gay. Mateo and I begin to fuse together. I feel him having a taste of the sweat on my neck. I run my tongue along his tricep when he dances with his arms up and he keeps them up for a bit longer, enjoying it. He gets very close to my face a few times and I think, whoa, is he trying to kiss me? To me, kissing means real attraction rather than just fun and games. Later on, when we have our clothes back on, we are still dancing and sweating. Mateo comes close again, with a big smile as usual. Very close. So close our noses touch. I approach slowly to give him a chance to back away but he doesn't. Our lips touch. We kiss and the kiss turns into a little snog - only very little like we are testing each other. Then he backs away and smiles and carries on dancing. I go to the bar for a drink with my friend, who tells me Mateo and James are in an open relationship and that I shouldn't feel guilty. Ok well, I never take him seriously anyway. I know he's having fun in his Spanish way. I just never knew he wanted to do that with me.

We leave the club before the music stops and everyone starts leaving. I am getting a taxi with my friend and Mateo is walking back to his house. We say bye and Mateo looks at me, smiling. And he waits. I know what he wants so I walk up and we kiss again next to the taxi rank.

"I think Mateo really likes you," says my friend.
"He just likes to have fun. I know him well enough."

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Just happened to have a reason for posting this video

Friend from work is leaving. He has remarried to a German wife and is moving to Germany. I will miss him because he is one of the few men who's really got his head screwed on but is never too serious. He is also a biker and one of the bikes he has is the same as mine in a different colour. Best of luck to him.

(This video is from the facebook page of Baller Boyz)

A bit of pretentious, cultural blogging

Punchdrunk's theatre production called "The Drowned Man: A Hollywood Fable" is an adaptation of Woyzeck but is not like normal theatre. You physically follow the actors/dancers from one scene to another, from the bedroom to the bar and one floor to the next within the building. There is no stage - or you are with them on the stage. You can choose whichever character to follow and switch whenever you want, or just explore the sets yourself. There is no dialogue. Everything is expressed through dance, body movement, music and lighting.

It's been running since June last year so it's not news to any regular theatre goers. When I went to London to see it last Friday I was blown away by the details of the sets, the genius of different characters' own stories and the powerful body movements. It was set in the 1950's and all the decorations and props were real and solid. All dancers, male and female, were professionally trained and incredibly fit like gymnasts. This guy rolled down backwards from the roof of a car and made it look like a walk in the park. Another moved among poles (that were supposed to be trees) like a dance in mid air.

They don't mind showing off their perfect bodies either. One of the main characters was played by a hot red head and he was in a white vest throughout, except when he went to see the doctor and was ordered to take it off and to stretch his arms out sideways. Then the creepy doctor (who was also hot by the way) started teasing him by running the end of a stick from his hand to his chest and drawing on his abs. At the time I had no idea what the fuck was going on but I was loving it and wished he would keep doing it.

I have bought another ticket to go again because there are so many sets and characters I didn't even know existed until the final scene. I really recommend it if you get a chance to go (but do some research first so you don't end up still being in a state of lost and confusion after the first hour like I did). It's not too late!