Tuesday, 27 May 2014

When is it right to say the L word?

I am terrified of saying the word "love", or "I love you". It's almost like popping the question with a knee down.

At which point in a relationship should (or can) the L word be used? Is it when two people go from dating to a couple? Or not until you have had a few fights and you have accepted their flaws and the things they do that drive you insane but they will keep doing? Or only before you are about to propose something big like moving in together, getting married (or a threesome)?

Does it even need to be said anymore? I don't hear it that often in films, unless one of them is about to fall off a cliff and they just need to let the other one know, "that I love you. AHHhhhhhh..."

I have been seeing Rob regularly, about once a week (only because his shift times make it difficult). He is getting better at returning my texts. But we still haven't talked about the whole "being together" thing, or what we are supposed to be. We are as noncommittal as it gets. If we were not more than twenty years apart, we could be celebrating our one year anniversary now. I would have met more than just one of his friends and he would have sat next to me at the annual company do last month. Yes, I worry about what my friends and everyone else would think. But I still want to be with him all the time, do things for him and make him happy. I think that roughly matches the description of "love". I don't just "fancy" him, as they say. Fair?

I was going to see him tonight after his shift. He cancelled at the very last minute and suggested tomorrow night instead. "Tomorrow definitely :) xxxxxx" he texted.

"Xxx love you"

Yes it was my cowardly way. I cringed as I typed it because it felt so cliched and *serious* (serious voice). It still took me twenty minutes to finally put my finger on the "send" button. Fuck.

"Wow wasn't expecting that... Thanks:))) . See u tomorrow night x"

Fuck...Ok you know what, that's fine. At least now he knows.


PR8 said...

I'm All Out Of Love :( Good luck Ethan x


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