Sunday, 27 January 2013

The fatherhood love thing

This is going to sound weird but I actually like children.

My colleague's 5 year-old daughter was having a birthday party and I promised to help her out with preparing food. Sometimes I'd stay over at hers after a night out or a work trip so I already knew her daughter, who's always been a sweet, miniature version of my colleague. But there were a LOT more children at this party, from toddlers that just started walking to kids probably old enough to tell you a secret function on your iphone you didn't know before. The house was definitely too small for the number of people invited so I tried to sit somewhere out of the way when I wasn't doing much and the parents were mainly chatting in Spanish. Sounds like an awkward situation but it wasn't too bad because I was looking at the kids. Kids are funny - especially when they have a pirate's bandana and eye-patch painted on their face or are simply looking confused like they have just woken up and found themselves surrounded by giants. I find it hilarious.

Most guys at my age, gay or not, are not so keen on children. Like my swimming coach, who is the nicest guy ever but is also clueless about the little people. But it wasn't the first time that I wish I could have a normal family and have one or two...boys, preferably. I think part of the reason is that I want to be a better dad than my own. My dad is not horrible to me. He worked hard and provided for the family. But we never really bonded and sometimes I am jealous of the close father-son relationship that others have. I know I'm not the only one - it's more like a generation thing I think. The emphasis on baby-bonding with dads only started about a decade ago, if that. So it's my time to take up the challenge.

But back in reality, I am not exactly eligible for the best-dad-in-the-world mug. I shall move on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Colton Haynes <3